Chocashopaholic…is that even close to a real word?

I’ve been told to write this blog post quietly, because Darling Sister is ill.  I know that ‘ill’ is actually Lovely Mum/Lovely Stepdad’s euphemism for ‘incoherently hungover’.  So, being the considerate and caring older sister I am, I’ve popped my speakers on rather loudly, all the better for her to hear what I’m currently listening to on iTunes (Ellie Goulding, in case you were wondering), as well as turning the TV up nice and loudly (so that I can hear it over the music,obviously).  This was after taking my rubbish (last lot from the wardrobe incident last week, fingers crossed) down to the wheelie bins by the back door, accidentally thudding it against her door.  And letting the dogs in to jump on her head.  In my defence, she did make Lovely Stepdad a birthday cake made out of various types of chocolate this week. 

This is probably the point where I should mention that I’ve given up chocolate for Lent.  (And forget to mention that Darling Sister made me a whole batch of cupcakes to make up for the fact that I couldn’t eat any of the aforementioned birthday cake…)  I’ve also given up sweets and biscuits.  I fear that 2011 is the year that I become one of those dull people who bangs on about their macrobiotic diet, and how they’re going minimalist because being Zen is just, like, so…you know?  On second thoughts, maybe not.

The first thing that people have said to me for most of the week about this is ‘but you’ve already given up clothes, why on Earth would you torture yourself?!’ but the sad thing is that, without New Look and Primark to distract me, I’ve been eating rather a lot of chocolate and biscuits for the last month (and far, far too many chocolate biscuits).  It’s worrying me because if my bum gets too big to fit into my trousers, I can’t buy more, and will have to be one of those people whose bum spreads across 2 seats on the bus, encroaching on the personal space of those around them (not that I take the bus, ever, but still), or one of those people that one of my friends (who will remain nameless – she probably won’t even realise that I mean her when she’s reading this) will snigger about secretly, and make sly digs to my other friends along the lines of ‘well, I didn’t want to say anything, but someone else happened to mention that her bum’s now the size of Hampshire…just saying…’

So, I’ve knocked the ‘bad boys’ on the head (special thanks to the Fabulous one for letting me use that phrase), and so far, it’s not too bad.  As well as having Lovely Stepdad’s birthday this week, it was also a Genuinely Wonderful friend’s birthday (she used to be a friend of The Boy, and has very generously adopted me as a chum too), and she invited us over for various form of cake, including some *insert gushing adjective* scones, which I could have eaten 16 of (however, as there were other people there, I restrained myself, and only ate 6) (ok, 7).  It almost didn’t matter that everyone else was eating white chocolate cheesecake that Her Boy made (and that I will be insisting he make for me sometime after Easter Sunday.  Easter Monday, perhaps).  And I got cuddles from the Beautiful One* (admittedly, we had to make sure that she was unconscious before I had cuddles, so her Marvellous Mum got her to sleep first, but still – a cuddle is a cuddle).

It’s also been brought to my attention this week that I’ve developed a habit of getting people to do/eat the things that I’ve given up (that’s doing shopping, and eating chocolate – I’m not asking people to eat their shopping bags or anything.  That would be weird).  For example, one of the girls in the office (one of the funniest people that I’ve ever met, and I’ve met a LOT of people), asked me why I keep sending her discount codes and pointing out things that she really wouldn’t wear (ever) in magazines, but that I quite like.  She asked me if I’m trying to get her to shop on my behalf, to which I pointed out she’s 2 sizes smaller than me, so if I was getting her to shop for me, I’d be in trouble.  She may still be suspicious.

Then, I asked my Fabulous Friend if she’d mind eating chocolate on my behalf (the sneaky option clearly didn’t work with the shopping, so I thought it best to ask outright).  She told me that it wouldn’t be a problem at all, and she was already working her way through a Lindt mini-egg, just for me.  Panicked, I pointed out that I will always eat at least 3, so if she’s going to be a good friend, I really need to see some more commitment from her.  Fingers crossed that she’ll soon be working her way up to a Lindt bunny a day…

So, as well as sighing wistfully at pretty dresses from Zara and nice shoes from Office, The Boy will also have to put up with me throwing my slippers at the TV every time that Galaxy advert comes on.  He’s going to be thrilled.

*the Beautiful One is a lovely little girl (and I’m not just saying that because her Mum is nice about me), who I would very much like to steal (I say this about a lot of my friends’ children – I can’t help it, they’re just all really, REALLY cute).


4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Clair Cooper
    Mar 13, 2011 @ 19:19:30

    You make me smile Caz, nay laugh Lol!! I have also given up chocolate for lent so you are in good company. Hope to see you and your loverly sister soon xxx


  2. Andrea Williams
    Mar 15, 2011 @ 21:03:37

    Why have I left it so long to read this?!?!?…..

    I love it….



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