Swap Shop

So, I’m late with posting again.  But I have a proper reason and everything, I promise.  I’ve spent the afternoon with The Boy, The Beautiful One, 2 Lovely Ones and Their Boys.  And for future reference (mine and yours), drinking pink wine in the sunshine in the middle a Sunday afternoon may seem like a good idea, but 2 hours later, all you will be left with is a pounding headache and the certain knowledge that you can’t go to sleep for at least 4 hours, or will be wasting the last precious moments of the weekend (which would be a terrible shame).  But a marvellous afternoon was had by all (and The Boy bought me tulips.  He’s nice), and I’m here now, so let’s get started.

You’ll all be pleased to know that I asked the Gorgeous Burlesque Instructor how I should refer to her, and she suggested Lola.  Because it’s her name.  I’m also not sure if any of you are interested in finding out some more about it (whether you live in my area or are just a bit nosy), but if you click around hereish, you can visit her delightful website.

This week’s lesson was much more ‘burlesque-y’ (technical term) than usual.  We learnt how to take gloves and stocking off sexily.  Except I’m so wonderfully organised that I forgot both gloves AND stockings.  Luckily, one of the other, more organised (and nice) girls lent me some gloves.  And I pretended with the stockings.  Unless you were actually watching me, there’s no way that you would have been able to tell the difference…

My main obsession this week has been a rather awesome website, called Bigwardrobe.  If you have any clothes that you want to get rid of, you put them on the site, and people can either offer to swap for things in their wardrobe that they don’t want anymore, or they’ll give you money for them.  You may be surprised to hear this, but I’ve decided to mainly ask people for swaps, rather than money.  (You’re not surprised?  Oh.)  So far, I’ve sent off 1 jacket (with tags), 1 jumper (worn once), and 3 dresses (all with tags).  When I took them into work for the girls to see before I sent them, Jiminy was actually, properly horrified at how many of the items hadn’t been worn.  I hope that she never, ever ends up in my bedroom.  It could bring on an early heart attack.  Or at least some sort of Victorian style swooning.

But you’ve already heard plenty about how many things I have that have never been worn, so back to Bigwardrobe.  The person with the lowest feedback score/least amount of feedback is the one that has to post items first, so now that my items have been posted, I’ve just got to sit on my hands and stop myself from attacking the postman in the mornings, whilst waiting for my swaps to arrive.  I’m waiting for…

1 x black strapless dress with netting underneath and a red sash

1 x dress with floral detailing at the top, and a pencil skirt bottom

1 x pink shoes (well, actually 2 x pink shoes, 1 x pair)

1 x (pair) shoes with lots of pretty hearts

1 x black strapless dress with lots of ruffly bits at the bottom (this may be my first swapping mistake, but I got overexcited and agreed without thinking.  It’s a beautiful dress, but I’m a bit worried that the ruffles will make my hips look 5 times the size that they are.  So roughly the size of Wales).

I can tell that you’re as excited as I am, so as soon as they come in, I’ll be sure to write all about them.

The Boy has suggested that as I’m paying to post my items, technically this could be counted as shopping.  He’s wrong.  The person that I’m swapping with also has to pay for the postage, so it’s not like anyone’s actually gaining money…as counter-arguments go, this may not be my strongest one, but it’s pretty much all I have, so I’m stuck with it (if anyone can come up with a better one, I’m listening.  Really hard). 

I also pointed out to The Boy that this is helping me to clear out all the clothes that I no longer wear, thus making my bedroom almost minimalist.  He then pointed out (without even pausing to think), that I will be receiving things in return, therefore my dream of a minimalist bedroom (as opposed to one that looks like a room from ‘Grime Fighters’ – you know, one of the ones where the old lady living in the house has been left to her own devices for the last 47 years and as such has hoarded absolutely everything that she’s ever come into contact with) are somewhere around the slim to none mark.   It worries me how he’s able to think of these arguments.  He’s like a conversational wizard. 

So, it’s a fantastic website, and a great idea.  It has also introduced me to the word ‘swaplifting’, which is just brilliant.  The only problem that I have is that it’s quickly becoming an obsession.  I check roughly every 20 minutes to see if someone has sent me a message about one of my items, or if someone has suggested a swap.  If there’s nothing, I browse through the items that other people have put up, just in case something new has been uploaded.  The Boy tends to look over my shoulder whilst I’m on the phone, thinking that I’m Facebook stalking people (which obviously, I never, ever do), only to find that I’m frantically looking through pages and pages of dresses, just in case I missed one in my check 7 minutes previously.  I’m logging in whilst in the middle of conversations, with 1 eye on the person I’m with and one eye on the phone (a definite way to win friends, I’m sure you’ll agree), and on Friday night, for the first time EVER, The Boy fell asleep before I did, because I was checking the site.

Apparently, I should have just stuck with no form of shopping whatsoever.  And I was doing so well…

On the plus side, I’ve only thought about chocolate 46 times this week, a vast improvement on last week’s 417 times.


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